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British Arctic Territory Wildlife flags (BATWS)

(British Arctic Territory Flag Hoax)

Last modified: 2014-06-07 by rob raeside
Keywords: british arctic territory |
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All "British Arctic Territory" flags are hoaxes, developed by Clay Moss et al. on April Fools' Days

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British Arctic Territory Wildlife Service (BATWS)

[British Arctic Territory Wildlife Service (hoax)] image by Pete Loeser and Tomislav Todorovic, 1 April 2014

In a rather unexpected move, the British Arctic Territory Wildlife Service recently unveiled a rather untraditional BAT ensign for use at sea on their patrol boats, as well as at their facilities on land and ice flows. Apparently the public's fascination with the endangered Arctic Aardvark prompted the wildlife service to adopt this very visible indication of their dedication to preserving the rare aardvark's natural habit from the recent commercial intrusions and interest in both coastal and internal regions where reported sightings have occurred. The replacing of the usual BAT "Polar Bear" emblem with the aardvark has not been universally accepted by traditionalists and remains controversial.
Pete Loeser, 1 April 2014

Everyone knows that the Arctic aardvark along with all aardvarks world wide drink beer from nearly empty beer cans as their primary source of nourishment. In the BAT, the beer freezes really quickly, meaning that the aardvarks can't drink it. The Arctic aardvark population is in danger, and there is concern that they may go extinct.

Fortunately, Texans for Aardvarks (TFA) has been gracious enough to donate 1000 portable battery operated heating elements that the aardvarks can use to melt frozen beer. The aardvarks instinctively know how to use these elements so long as they are strategically placed around the territory. The BAT's human population plays a key roll in keeping the elements serviceable, and the wildlife service ensign serves as a reminder to keep those elements heated. It's not a popular ensign with traditionalists, but it does serve a very positive function.
Clay Moss, 1 April 2014


British Arctic Territory Wildlife Authority Service - Tariff Enforcement (BATWASTE)

[British Arctic Territory Wildlife Authority Service (hoax)] image by Pete Loeser and Tomislav Todorovic, 1 April 2014

The British Arctic Territory Wildlife Authority Tariff Enforcement police have recently adopted a similar ensign for patrolling their many seasonal inland waterways with armed river cruisers. In recent years these patrols have faced dangerous poaching rings who hope to profit from the current fashionable practice of wearing Aardvark lined hats. Since these patrol boats are now armed, it was deemed necessary by the British Arctic Territory Heraldry Society (BATHS) to clean-up the ensign's design by added the Saint Georges Cross to the inland ensign.
Pete Loeser, 1 April 2014