Last modified: 2014-06-07 by rob raeside
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All "British Arctic Territory" flags are hoaxes, developed by Clay Moss et al. on April Fools' Days
See also:
image by Pete Loeser and Tomislav Todorovic, 1 April 2014
In a rather unexpected move, the British Arctic Territory Wildlife Service
recently unveiled a rather untraditional BAT ensign for use at sea on their
patrol boats, as well as at their facilities on land and ice flows. Apparently
the public's fascination with the endangered Arctic Aardvark prompted the
wildlife service to adopt this very visible indication of their dedication to
preserving the rare aardvark's natural habit from the recent commercial
intrusions and interest in both coastal and internal regions where reported
sightings have occurred. The replacing of the usual BAT "Polar Bear" emblem with
the aardvark has not been universally accepted by traditionalists and remains
controversial.
Pete Loeser, 1 April 2014
Everyone knows that the Arctic aardvark along with all aardvarks world wide
drink beer from nearly empty beer cans as their primary source of nourishment.
In the BAT, the beer freezes really quickly, meaning that the aardvarks can't
drink it. The Arctic aardvark population is in danger, and there is concern that
they may go extinct.
Fortunately, Texans for Aardvarks (TFA) has been
gracious enough to donate 1000 portable battery operated heating elements that
the aardvarks can use to melt frozen beer. The aardvarks instinctively know how
to use these elements so long as they are strategically placed around the
territory. The BAT's human population plays a key roll in keeping the elements
serviceable, and the wildlife service ensign serves as a reminder to keep those
elements heated. It's not a popular ensign with traditionalists, but it does
serve a very positive function.
Clay Moss, 1 April 2014
image by Pete Loeser and Tomislav Todorovic, 1 April 2014
The British Arctic Territory Wildlife Authority Tariff Enforcement police
have recently adopted a similar ensign for patrolling their many seasonal inland
waterways with armed river cruisers. In recent years these patrols have faced
dangerous poaching rings who hope to profit from the current fashionable
practice of wearing Aardvark lined hats. Since these patrol boats are now armed,
it was deemed necessary by the British Arctic Territory Heraldry Society (BATHS)
to clean-up the ensign's design by added the Saint Georges Cross to the inland
ensign.
Pete Loeser, 1 April 2014